I've pinned the nail on the head. The reason I detest my married friend's lives is not because they're actually married. It's because I don't think it's the best thing for most of them- at least not THIS early in their lives. Here's what I mean-
Bullshit major + always having a man in their life + always having family around, almost always ='s a girl who is forever dependent on someone else.
The thing I hate about this is that these girls can't cook, they have no idea who they are without their family a step away, they don't have separate friends from their husband, they don't always have separate interests from their husband, they have few street smarts, and most detestable-they cannot figure out directions.
This really pisses me off. If you can't figure out directions, you are literally never going anywhere new without the help of someone else. Isn't that what quadriplegics feel like? Except they downright can't get anywhere without help. But these girls are actually choosing to be handicapped in a very real way. Never being too far from family, never going on adventures on your own, always having someone else there to figure life out for you/get you places.. these things keep your comfort zone super small.
Having a large comfort zone is incredibly important to me. When I see people who haven't widened theirs since high school, it alarms me. Even baby birds get kicked out of the nest eventually. Otherwise THEY'D NEVER LEARN TO FLY.
And that is my point. Alot of people have to be completely on their own before they make the effort to figure out life for themselves. And apparently most of my married friends have skipped this essential part of life.
If you don't agree with my fervor on this, consider this example. A friend wants directions to a place 3 miles down the road. You say, go south down rhode island, turn right on greenbelt road, Left on rt 1, Right on Knox, and right at the parking garage. The friend looks at you with this blank stare.. So you draw a map. She still stares blankly. You show her google maps. Tie in places she's been before so she can visualize where the turns are. It's like putting water in a sieve. So you try to find the address of this parking garage .. because she has a gps.. but surprise, parking garages don't always have addresses & gps owners don't always know how to use their gps. The friend still claims she has no idea where this place is, even tho there are only 4 turns. So you offer to drive her there ahead of time. So you do that. You drive her to the place and back. But 3 hrs later she asks if you could just drive her there the next day.
So you just wasted an hour on something completely unproductive.
This just makes me incredibly thankful for the lonely periods in my life. You know, the times when I hated being lonely & was jealous of the relationships my friends had. Well now I have life skills & they have husbands. The pain was definitely worth it. I just didn't realize it at the time.
