Valentine Conclusions

Oh, valentine's day..

I'm one of those people who has always hated this day, ever since I was old enough to realize what it really entailed. No longer was the entire class required to give valentines to everyone. Guys selectively asked other girls out on dates or gave them flowers and chocolate. Never me.

Except the time I got flowers for valentines day because I was a sneaky asshole & led on a guy I didn't like. And then he overdid it and actually sent me flowers on valentine's day. Other than that, I've just celebrated this day with friends and family. Obviously I'm thankful to have them, but as you know, it's more enjoyable to have "someone special" to celebrate love with.

So I hate valentines day. I don't need another reminder of the fact that I'm single and have been for essentially my whole life. But this valentine's day was a little different. I still resent the fact that I'm single against my choice, but I've been working really hard at several goals in my life. These are mostly academic and self-improvement goals. When you exercise self-control consistently, you can become the person you want to be. Which brings a good measure of contentment and satisfaction.

If I can't have a relationship right now, I am going to throw everything into the rest of my life. And I'm already happy with the preliminary results.

Most Important 433 Words to Read This Month

No matter how sophisticated and grown up we become, everyone has her insecure days. In this excerpt from her new book, Eve Ensler celebrates the true power of a woman.

"Dear Emotional Creature:

I believe in you. I believe in your authenticity, your uniqueness, your wildness. I love the way you dye your hair purple, or hike up your short skirt, or blare your music while you lip-synch every single memorized lyric. I love your restlessness and your hunger. You possess the energy that, if unleashed, could transform, inspire, and heal the world.

Everyone seems to have a certain way they want you to be- your mother, father, religious leaders, politicians, boyfriends, fashion gurus, celebrities, girlfriends. In reporting my new book [I am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World], I learned a very disturbing statistic: 74 percent of young women say they are under pressure to please everyone.

I have done a lot of thinking about what it means to please: to be the wish or will of somebody other than yourself. To please the fashion setters, we starve ourselves. To please men, we push ourselves when we aren't ready. To please our parents, we become insane overachievers. If you are trying to please, how do you take responsibility for your own needs? How do you even know what your own needs are? The act of pleasing makes everything murky. We lose track of ourselves. We stop uttering declaratory sentences. We stop directing our lives. We forget what we know. We make everything OK instead of real.

I have had the good fortune to travel around the world. Everywhere I meet teenage girls and women giggling, laughing as they walk country roads or hang out on city streets. Electric girls. I see how their lives get hijacked, how their opinions and desires get denied and undone. So many of the women I have met are still struggling late into their lives to know their desires, to find their way.

Instead of trying to please, this is a challenge to provoke, to dare, to satisfy your own imagination and appetite. To take responsibility for who you are, to engage. Listen to the voice inside you that might want something different. It's a call to your original self, to move at your own speed, to walk with your step, to wear your color.

When I was your age, I didn't know how to live as an emotional creature. I felt like an alien. I still do a lot of the time. I am older now. I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying, and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be OK with being different, with being this alive, this intense. I just don't want you to have to wait that long. "

Love, Eve Ensler