I mean, can you really avoid concentrating on the reality that you're all alone when it continually slaps you in the face?
I make the group an odd number, I have to ward off the creepy guys on my own, I'm the one people avoid inviting because then they'd have to invite another single person "for me", I have to endure lengthy male glances & completely inappropriate comments/pickup lines literally anywhere I go, I have to be both the navigator in the passenger seat & the driver at the same time, I talk to myself since there's rarely anyone listening or truly willing to listen, people actually take more interest in my life when I have a boyfriend, I'm the one that gets volunteered for all the dares at bachelorette parties, I'm the only one not checking in with parents or husbands/boyfriends while hanging out with literally anyone, I'm the "bitter" one who never looks forward to valentines day, I don't get easter baskets or chocolates or flowers, none of my jewelry has special meaning, I'm the only one who notices when I'm sad, I don't know the answer when guys ask why I don't already have a boyfriend, I don't enjoy chick flicks, I give myself back and neck massages, I'm that person sitting alone at the bar chatting up strangers, and yes, I'm the one who glares at cluelessly happy couples.
But I'm also the one who has the craziest first date stories, comes home at 5 in the morning, gets free dinners & drinks, hops the fence at night to go swimming and have makeout fests with random hot guys, makes the best sarcasm about non-singles, buys myself presents instead of wasting the money on a restaurant I didn't want to go to, gets the best sleep because I don't have someone trying to fuck or cuddle me in their wet dreams, my accomplishments mean more to me because I won them on my own, I contribute more to the friendships in my life because I don't have one person sucking up all my time or energy, I bake double recipes of my favorite cookies from scratch and don't have to share, I eat out of the fridge because I don't have to schedule my life around anyone, I can walk away from arguments, I can throw my purse on the passenger seat, I can listen to my favorite 30 seconds of 10 different songs in a row without annoying people who want to listen to the whole song, I can listen to my favorite radio station 100% of the time, I don't have to sit thru sports games or take interest in things I have zero interest in, I can hit on hot strangers and grind/dance with anyone I please at clubs with a clear conscience, I can dress slutty to my heart's content and go out on the town without it being an issue, I can go dancing or jump in water fountains without boyfriend feeling awkward 'cause he doesn't want to join in, I can have close male friends and bartend and pole dance if I want to without creating jealousy or suspicion in someone else, I don't have to schedule date nights, I can be completely spontaneous and disappear for days at a time and not answer to anyone- ie, go to the beach for a day & make friends there & come home knowing I had a blast without waiting around for people to have time for me, I have TIME to learn a new language or design clothes or read old microbiology textbooks, or work multiple jobs, I don't feel the pain of missing my significant other when he's not around, I don't have to worry about what my family thinks of my boyfriend, I don't have to kiss a man with bad breath if I don't want to, no one chides me when I eat icecream for dinner, there's noone to get pisst off at because there IS no one, I don't have to tell anyone what I'm thinking, I can have sex with anyone I want, and I can, essentially, do whatever I want.
Still.. the benefits of being single don't compare most of the time, because there's no one to share the experiences with afterwards. Unless I want to blab about my irresponsible adventures to non-single people who usually start judging me inside their heads automatically. But I would like to know how they'd handle it?
And I'm only 22. I wonder what this pressure will feel like in a couple years when all my friends start having kids?
No comments:
Post a Comment