An End to the Parallel

Why is there nothing more frustrating than growing apart from good friends? You became friends with various people at various times because you had something in common. Something important enough in common. Then a couple years go by and you start to realize your paths are slowly, but very surely branching off in separate directions.

First of all, isn't it normal for friends to help friends become better people? The most frustrating thing to me right now is when a good friend refuses to let me help them change for the better. Not CHANGE THEM, but HELP THEM change. Maybe you should leave them alone, shouldn't bother. But is that being a true friend?? No.. Well I don't think so. Say you used to have the same weakness as they do, but you worked on it until you improved. You know exactly how to get better at it, but your friend doesn't want your help. They don't want to change. They feel no reason to change, no matter what you think and say.

Secondly, I believe that the more willing a person is to work on their weaknesses, the stronger that person is. Because it takes a strong person to first of all, admit they have a weakness; and it takes a stronger person to actually work toward strengthening that weakness. Because it's uncomfortable. For example, say you're awful at cooking. You can either continue to eat out the rest of your life, or you can learn to cook & enjoy having friends over for dinner & even lower your food costs. But at first, your dishes may not turn out so good. People may laugh at your cooking efforts. But that's no reason to avoid learning to cook! This is why it takes a strong person to work out their weaknesses; you have to get through the rough patches to get to smoother ground.

Rabbit Trail --[But this is what gets me -- Why wait till "later" to acknowledge and work on your weaknesses?? It's just dumb! I mean, here were are in college, with tons of resources and opportunities available to us. We aren't really expected to be "perfect" or "grown up" yet. So it's the perfect place to work out kinks & weaknesses. I mean, who wants to graduate, get to the real world, and not be able to list "touch typing" and interpersonal skills as skills/strengths? Those skills are definitely expected once you graduate. And life skills aren't much different; in fact, they're probably more important. Who wants to graduate and realize they can't live on their own, cook for themselves, figure out driving directions, manage money, or fix a relatively simple computer problem? Why wait until these skills are essential to life to work on being good at them? I just can't fathom why people do this. Just put in a little bit of hard work now, and it'll be easier later. My mom says it's because people just don't realize that. But it's so obvious that I think they have to realize it. So I'm still at a loss as to why people strongly resist bettering themselves.]

Thirdly, I believe that the stronger you are, the stronger your respective friendships, relationships, and acquaintances will be. So when you try to help a friend become stronger and they refuse to work on it or let you help them, they're indirectly contributing to a weaker friendship.

Some people are more willing to work on their shortcomings, while some will resist at any cost. And some people are good at sitting back & not helping a friend whose shortcomings glare you in the face until you're blind.I'm not one of those people who can easily sit back & watch a friend stay immature while I grow up. I want to help them discover freedom & adulthood like I am starting to discover.

It's like I'm climbing a mountain. From my view, there is no reason or desirability to be at a lower point on the mountain, because I've gotten past most of the trees & can see for miles. But a lot of my friends are still hiking through the trees & have stopped to rest. And don't want to come any further right now. I don't want to go on alone, but I would rather do that than go back down to those stuffy dark trees where you can't see anything.

You obviously want to help your friends prepare for the next segment of the journey, so they can come along with you. But if they refuse, there's nothing you can do. Nothing. And that's when paths branch off.