From Acquaintances to Friends

I was recently looking through "short films" on youtube, and I stumbled across this one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy0HNWto0UY). Sometimes I feel exactly like the main character in this clip does. Which makes me think.. why is it so hard to make friends these days? Is it just harder to make friends as you get older? Or are people busier now? Distracted more?

I don't know about you, but I have a LOT of acquaintances. I'm outgoing, love meeting new people, get along well with others. Most people like me, some think I'm funny at times.. But for some reason I haven't been able to turn many of my acquaintances into friends. And I don't know about you, but most people would not mind having more friends. So why is it that so many people act like they don't want to be friends or take the acquaintanceship further?

Well, I'm obsessed with writing lists. I love lists. Sometimes a list is different in your head than on paper. When you write out a list, it's easier to figure out what you want to add or subtract from it. Today I wrote a list of the people I truly consider my friends. I came up with 11 people (Yes, now you know that, world-wide-web). But out of those 11, I only really talk to 4 or 5 of those people on a weekly basis. If I had made this list last year, there would have been at least 20 people on that list.

I think that as people get older, they become more self sufficient. In the States, we have this idea that needing help from others, needing others at all, is a sign of weakness. We know this isn't really true- but as far as making friends, people stay away from needy individuals. So we act the opposite. The only problem is, then we come off as cold and unfriendly.

So the self-sufficient ones only seem like they don't want friends. Then there are the busy ones, who are truly too busy to get together outside work or school. They think, "If you don't know someone that well, why potentially waste your precious free time when you're guaranteed a relaxing time drinking coffee by yourself?" Or sometimes people just don't want to be your friend. Maybe they already have a lot of friends. Maybe they don't get your sense of humor. And maybe you turn down offers of friendship more often than you realize. Remember, people don't want to look needy, so offers to hang out usually aren't too persistent. And hey, maybe we're the one who's too busy to realize that this person really does want to be our friend.

So, instead of letting people become stale acquaintances, what if we made time & invited them to things. Went to the school basketball game with them (even if sports are our worst nightmare). You never know who they'll introduce you to. I looked at my list of 11 people, and noted how I met & befriended each of them. Most I met through other existing friends or school. I think that sometimes we aren't open to making new friends; we want more friends, but we aren't always ready to make time or put in the effort to get to know someone new when the opportunity comes. And then the opportunity seems to have passed, so we let it fade into a forever-acquaintance. Or it really does pass.

And on that note, I am going to get off the internet & back into real life. Because I have people to invite to a concert..