"People Need People"

It's funny because the older you get, the more you realize what is really important in life.

It's so easy to get caught up in what matters right this second. I try to keep myself grounded by thinking what's gonna matter at the end of my life, when I'm on my deathbed? I don't mean to focus on the negatives of life, or to worry about what death will be like; but quite the opposite. I want to make sure my life is full, important, worthwhile.

When my life is over, will working and making money be what mattered? Will that have made a positive impact on the world? Probably not. I'll wish I'd spent more time with friends, family, put more into relationships with people. I'm not sure how to explain it, but there's something about connecting with people. As a neighbor once told me, "People need people." The more I remind myself of this, the easier it is to keep up healthy relationships and connections with people; because you aren't focusing on the negatives of the relationship or the negatives of opening up to people. The more you expect to get positive experiences out of relationships, the more you allow relationships of all kinds into your life. The most important thing I've learnt is that, in general, worrying too much about how a relationship will turn out is crippling.

Being thankful for the chance to get to know someone, even before they move away or leave your life for one reason or another reason just changes your focus. I mean, think back (or forward) to your last year of highschool or college. Even if you know you're going to go separate ways from people you meet in that last year, you probably didn't decide, "Oh I'm going to avoid a friendship with this awesome person, just because I know we're going to different colleges or moving far apart after college." You would have missed out on so much. It's kindof akin to the saying, "It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." Hard to explain why, but experience tells us it's true.

You're never going to have meaningful relationships if you're constantly afraid of being abandoned or being hurt. Sometimes these things will happen. Sadly it's part of life. But you'll also make new friends. Maybe you had a best friend for a year or two, or a brother you used to be close to, who doesn't bother to keep in contact with you anymore. It's not about how they hurt you (though you do need to acknowledge that & prevent future hurt), but the important part is how the relationship affected both of you. Did they teach you something new? Did you help them get through a rough time? That's the important part. I think everyone needs a healthy flow of new and old friendships/relationships. You'll never have enough time for everyone at the same time, so naturally some relationships will fade, especially as people move away. They don't have to, if the person is important enough; you'll just have to put in more effort.

Let me know what you think. Have you stayed close with a friend who moved away? Have you moved away, but kept in touch with good friends who live in the old town? Is it possible to stay friends with highschool/college BFF's even after you all move apart?